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I took a pair of men's briefs and sewed the legs shut. Attached elastic handles to the waist band with buttons. then i put the following into the "brief case":
nail=hillbilly toothpick
old car key=hillbilly ear wax remover
cut up newspaper strips the size of toilet paper=hillbilly toilet paper
a jar of beans=hillbilly bubble bath
matches and a jar=hillbilly lantern
belly button brush

I left the fly area open as this held pens and pencils really well, it will also hold a cell phone.

MORE ITEMS FOR THE BRIEFCASE:

Redneck Calculator (This could be added to the Briefcase) Add a pair of feet with all ten toes cut out of construction paper then folded like a card and inside the card all the toes numbered.
Redneck Telephones=two tin cans with string attached to both.
REDNECK CELL PHONE=one tin can with an antenna
REDNECK MICROWAVE=magnifying glass (uses the sun to cook)

 

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